Manipulation techniques that leave the victim confused and feeling detached from reality. These victims don’t seek help because they do not realize what is happening, but often have the sense that something is “off”. This is abuse; difficult to catch and hard to overcome. That’s not the way it happened  You can’t get anything right … Continue reading Gaslight

I can’t claim to know what the peace that passes all understanding is, but I feel like I may have come close. At least I hope I have. Recently I made a decision and some changes in my life. For the first time in many years, I am at peace. I hope I’m not deceived. … Continue reading Peace that Passes Understanding

I hope I would be like David and would rather be subject to the wrath of GOD than to be victim of the judgment of men. You know the punishment would be great, but so is the LORD’S mercy. HE doesn’t just go from the exterior. Quite the contrary, HE examines the heart. Wouldn’t that … Continue reading Righteously Judged

Sometimes we need to step outside of our comfort zone. It’s really the only way we grow. I was noticing the vegetation around me and how some trees and plants grow up...if they are surrounded by other trees, they grow taller, but never branch out very far. Yet the same tree growing where it has … Continue reading Comfort Zone

Gradual changes are the hardest to recognize in oneself. So slow and subtle, they are often unnoticed until much time has passed. For the past 20 years, I have been changing into something I never wanted to be. It was a wake up call when I had an answered prayer...a prayer I’d made so often, … Continue reading Repairing

As a rule, I avoid confrontation at all costs. Maybe I should clarify. I avoid verbal confrontation. I do not like raised voices or harsh words. I have been verbally abused and emotionally manipulated for most of my life. I am extremely sensitive and feel pretty broken. I have recently realized how much damage and … Continue reading Confrontation

I’m in a free fall Floating on the breeze Suspended in time The wind washing over me.  Everything is smooth No worries or cares Just drifting along Soaring on the air.  The sun on my face Warms me within Such a lovely feeling  I can’t help but grin.  Quickly wiped away  As I’m jolted in … Continue reading Free Fall

Sometimes I find a little relief by writing; sometimes I don’t. I just want peace.  I’m so tired of fighting…  For everything.  It’s a constant.  This never ending battle…   Within myself.  And not just me.  Internal and external…   Fighting ensues.  I fight for speech: For just a chance to be heard…   If only once.  I … Continue reading Relief

Shallow rapid breaths  Avoiding the stench in the air Can’t extend my chest The room just isn’t there.  Constricting cords wound tight Seem to strengthen as I fight Seem to strengthen every time I move my arm to wipe my eye.  Covered in a cool sweat Tattooed tear stains- I’m a mess.  Locked in place, … Continue reading I’m a Mess

Flashback, shallow rapid breaths Sweaty palms, bare fluorescent bulbs overhead. Shadows, cold, unfamiliar faces Whispering an unlearned, foreign language.  Chanting short, rhythmic sounds From every direction, my eyes dart around.  Searching, terrified am I Gone is the one; he’s gone from my side. Thump, thump, pounding in my chest, Surely everyone can see me in … Continue reading Tremors