Who Am I…

Point of Grace asks “LORD, Who am I that YOU would speak to me so softly…?”

How can I even think to be worthy of any conversation with GOD much less be found worthy of a drop of grace?

I was thinking of the woman with the issue of blood…and wondering if I would be so bold. Would I have the guts to even think “if only I touch the hem, I could be healed…” the lowest part of HIS garment, the part that drags the ground, if only I could touch that part…could I be worthy to do even that? I’m afraid I would not be bold enough or have the faith required. 

Perhaps I would be as Zaccheaus and climb a tree to get a glance of the SAVIOR as HE passed by, but I fear I would not be strong enough in my faith…I would not be able to even climb the tree for my weakness! My arms would not have strength to pull me up and for fear of falling I wouldn’t even make the attempt. 

Paul states in his letters that he is bold. He does this on purpose to encourage and strengthen the hearers. Would I even be bold in my writing in a way that I could encourage others? Or would my writing fail to convey the message intended? I’m sure I could not come close to strengthening anyone in faith. 

I am afraid that if I had lived when Bartimeus did, I would have been too afraid to call out and beg for help and mercy. I would have kept quiet and remained in darkness. I am too weak, too lowly for HIM to glance my way.

So little is my faith!

Or is it Pride?!?

GOD knows how much I rely on HIM, but would I be embarrassed to call attention to myself? Would the perception of the world hinder me from acting on my desires? Would I be so vain that I’d turn my back on the LORD? 

I hope not.

I hope I would be as Stephen and boldly stand for my beliefs. I hope I would profess my GOD and glorify HIM in all my actions, accept the stones thrown and boldly welcome death as the doorway to Heaven. 

I hope I would suffer shame and withstand the humiliation for the sake of standing for the LORD and HIS way. 

Help me, LORD, be bold in YOU and meek in appearance. Be my rock and foundation and keep me low and continuously in prayer. I don’t want the confidence of the world nor the accolades it offers; keep me from temptation and help me boldly stand in faith.