Last Resort

It hurts being the last resort. Especially when you should be a certain someone’s first choice...but still that person would rather spend precious time with anyone else.  It hurts.  It’s that dull ache that won’t let your tears fall; that gasp that’s stuck in your throat.  It’s that white hot anger that makes you yell … Continue reading Last Resort


Why do we choose to hurt ourselves when someone else triggers us? A look into possibilities of why we self harm. Sometimes I think it is because I feel things so deeply yet fail at expressing myself. You may shake your head in disbelief, but it's true: the written word may flow from my fingertips … Continue reading Choose


It’s my own fault. I do this to myself.  I get mad at the world for not meeting expectations, but, I don’t let the world know what is expected.  It is easier for me to hold myself responsible than to try to make you understand what you should instinctively know.  That I do not understand.  … Continue reading Warning


I want to know why.  Why do I hate myself for hurting because of something you’ve done? Why is it that when you do something you know hurts me, I am the one to blame? Why is it so easy for me to apologize for being so weak (sensitive)? Why is my knee jerk reaction … Continue reading Why?

Getting Better

I just walked by a coworker’s desk and saw a stick pin laying discarded… This isn’t a cry for attention or help really. This is me admitting my struggle with addiction and recognizing how far I’ve come.  It was the perfect pin. Looked clean and shiny. Good size. Sharp. Everything I’d want in a pin.  … Continue reading Getting Better


Emptiness. Desolate.  Hollow.  Sometimes I feel like my chest is a gaping pit; like people can look at me and see this hole where my heart should be.  I know my heart is still there and still beating because I feel it every time it pumps, it seems. It’s like it’s tired of pretending to … Continue reading Hollow

Law and Faith

The first covenant was made under the law. There were rules to follow, the Ten Commandments part of those laws. Ordinances were set forth for the children of Abraham that they must obey to obtain their promised glory.  The Law and birthright determined the fate of a person.  But what purpose is there in fulfillment … Continue reading Law and Faith