Obsessed with Time

I constantly check my watch. 

I don’t know why. I guess it’s just a habit as I rarely notice the time.

I even glance at my wrist when my watch isn’t there. And I know it’s gone, but still I look. 

I check the clock on the wall, but never see it…I moved it long ago. 

Perhaps I’m not looking for the time but for answers to questions that will come in time. 

Isn’t it common thought that with age comes knowledge? I mean, I know that isn’t entirely accurate because I learn all the time from people both older and younger than I. And I do know some pretty dense old folks.  

But is that what I’m seeking? 

Do I want all the answers and keep checking the clock to see when they’ll arrive? When is the appointed time for me to learn the reason for all my struggles? (Because I firmly believe there is a reason for everything. Nothing is coincidence.)

How childish is it to think the clock holds all the answers? 

It doesn’t. 

Time doesn’t hold all the answers. The answers will come in time, but that time is hidden from us. 

And time doesn’t exist outside of man made rules. We have no concept of time other than the tick, tick, tick as the second hand makes its way around the clock face. 

We have created this system so we can coordinate our lives. We race after deadlines and race to meetings. We work so hard to “beat the clock” and for what?

I get it. We’re not guaranteed any time so we try to fit as much as we can into every minute we have and try to see how much we can accomplish. 

But are we living?

Or are we just measuring life by the ticks and what we do? 

Even when I feel like I should know what time it is, I rarely recognize the hour, much less the minute. 

Am I that distracted, that hurried, or that indifferent? 

What is it and what is my obsession with time?

I think time has us hypnotized, brainwashed even. It gives us rules to follow and paths to take. Time is a map to a destination with stops along the way. 

It is a tool to measure length of days and set goals and make plans. 

But I feel like we waste a good deal of time worrying about the little time we’re allotted.