It’s a struggle to fill the emptiness inside. Why can’t I ever just be satisfied?  Why do I put myself in places, then I fight to leave? I want more.  I want better.  I’m never happy.  I’m never thankful.  I sit here yelling.  I stand there pacing.  Always thinking.  Always complaining.  Never at peace.  Always … Continue reading Never Satisfied

Tone of voice is detrimental in delivery.  It can make or break relationships.  Tone can turn a statement into a question and a question to a command.  A simple phrase muttered under the breath is taken much differently than the same said outright.  A condescending tone belittles the hearer and uplifts the speaker.  Conversations turn … Continue reading Tone of Voice

Every day I go to work, I think to myself that I will not let anyone else’s actions have an effect on me and how I feel.  I usually go in to work with a decent attitude but when I open that first email, I start losing the battle.  All it takes is for one … Continue reading By Example

I have a close friend, but I keep her at arm’s length—for my safety.  Friends are meant to help you through life.  This friend, whom I love dearly, tries her best to hurt me any chance she gets.  It seems she tries her best to shock me, yet I take it all in unfazed. Or … Continue reading Battles

I constantly check my watch.  I don’t know why. I guess it’s just a habit as I rarely notice the time. I even glance at my wrist when my watch isn’t there. And I know it’s gone, but still I look.  I check the clock on the wall, but never see it...I moved it long … Continue reading Obsessed with Time

It hurts being the last resort. Especially when you should be a certain someone’s first choice...but still that person would rather spend precious time with anyone else.  It hurts.  It’s that dull ache that won’t let your tears fall; that gasp that’s stuck in your throat.  It’s that white hot anger that makes you yell … Continue reading Last Resort

Why do we choose to hurt ourselves when someone else triggers us? A look into possibilities of why we self harm. Sometimes I think it is because I feel things so deeply yet fail at expressing myself. You may shake your head in disbelief, but it's true: the written word may flow from my fingertips … Continue reading Choose

It’s my own fault. I do this to myself.  I get mad at the world for not meeting expectations, but, I don’t let the world know what is expected.  It is easier for me to hold myself responsible than to try to make you understand what you should instinctively know.  That I do not understand.  … Continue reading Warning

I want to know why.  Why do I hate myself for hurting because of something you’ve done? Why is it that when you do something you know hurts me, I am the one to blame? Why is it so easy for me to apologize for being so weak (sensitive)? Why is my knee jerk reaction … Continue reading Why?

I just walked by a coworker’s desk and saw a stick pin laying discarded… This isn’t a cry for attention or help really. This is me admitting my struggle with addiction and recognizing how far I’ve come.  It was the perfect pin. Looked clean and shiny. Good size. Sharp. Everything I’d want in a pin.  … Continue reading Getting Better