Why can’t I ever just be satisfied?
Why do I put myself in places, then I fight to leave?
I want more.
I want better.
I’m never happy.
I’m never thankful.
I sit here yelling.
I stand there pacing.
Never at peace.
Always at war.
And all my insecurities.
Wanting something else, but not knowing what.
And not knowing where to look.
Hoping these steps I take won’t knock me back down.
Won’t make me regress.
Because I’ve come so far.
But I’m not there yet.
I’ve worked so hard for everything I have, yet I feel empty.
It’s never enough.
Why do I feel like it’s all on me?
Do you know what I have to do? I mean break it down to the basics and all I have to do is be an example for my children.
Clean clothes and teach them.
Be there for them.
Because at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. That’s what they’ll remember most.
Who was there for them.
And you know what else I have to do?
Trust in GOD, have faith in HIM. My hope is in HIM having me. If I have just one drop of HIS grace, then nothing else matters.
My GOD is a jealous GOD.
No wonder I am so discontent.
Instead of living to serve HIM, I am seeking after things of this world that will soon pass away.
How quickly I forget the simple things I know.
I need less.
That would be better.
I need to be happy with what GOD gave me.
Let me be thankful for my blessings.
Let me yell my gratitude.
And walk in praise.
Let me stop thinking.
And turn complaints to prayer.
Show me the peace I cannot understand.
Let me win the battle
I’m fighting myself.
I need to look to the LORD for all my answers.
And give to HIM all my insecurities.
Fill myself with HIS WORD and I will never be empty.
Be satisfied with what I have, because what I have is more than enough.
7 thoughts on “Never Satisfied”
“Fill myself with his word and I’ll never be empty” should be our life’s motto. Ten works never had so much meaning.
And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the Lord doth man live. Deuteronomy 8:3 KJV
We suffer to humble us; to teach us to always look to the LORD for everything. When we feel mighty and as though we do not need HIM, HE shows us just how helpless we are without HIM.
Sylvia Plath meets King David. The tonal shifts from the frentic pace of the earthly anxieties to the rhythmic flow of the spiritual needs were crafted masterfully. Beautiful piece.
Thank you. “Frenetic pace of the earthly anxieties to the rhythmic flow of the spiritual”…that is what I wanted to capture. When I am so caught up in the anxieties of the flesh, I feel frenetic. I’m constantly rushing from one thing to the next. But when I stop and focus on the spiritual, I feel more at peace and have a rhythm to life. If only I could remember this when my anxieties rise!!