You'll reinforce my worthlessness with the flick of your arm; but don’t worry, I’ll cause you no harm. I place too much of me in all aspects of my life; I give my everything; to me it’s no sacrifice. I’ll give you my shirt, my jacket too, you know there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do—I’ve … Continue reading This Is Different

This is so much different—nowhere near the same; well, what do you mean? Let me try to explain...when I hurt myself, I know what I’ll do; I’m a thinker and a planner, believe me, I’ve thought it through. I’ve made the calculations of how deep I can go, to maximize the hurt and remain in … Continue reading This Is

If you’re reading this, it means I’ve lost my mind; I’ve decided to print what I’ve tried to hide. I struggle with addiction; I’m in love with the pain— I say that I’ll stop, but I know I’ll start again. I might do good, and stay on track for a while; then I’ll slip back … Continue reading This

Every day at work, I am reminded just how precious and fragile life is.  As if I needed the constant reminder. But, maybe I did and maybe I do.  Some of the people I see on a daily basis have the brightest smiles...and I know they are in so much pain. They always smile in … Continue reading Mortality

Lately I have been in such a fog.  This time of the year is never easy.  It’s the end of things; When the days are dark and dreary.  The year has grown so old The trees have lost all their leaves There’s a chill in the air  As if there is ice in the breeze.  … Continue reading A Fog

“Life is pain; you get used to it…” But why does it have to be? And why do we have to focus on the pain so much? Why can’t we just let it go? I’m so tired of hurting and so tired of being hurt.  But if I didn’t hurt, then I wouldn’t love either. … Continue reading Life is Pain

as I sit here contemplating my existence, I wonder if it is really real at all I feel like surely this is a dream or at least a nightmare to be called I’m disconnected from my body; my head has long since left A hollow feeling within fills this emptiness in my chest My hands … Continue reading Thinking Out Loud (to Myself)

“Life is too short to hold grudges.” I believe it was Gilbert Blythe (Anne of Green Gables- LM Montgomery) who said that. Life is fleeting.  I talk often about time, how it doesn’t really exist but is a tool to to help organize life.  We’re not promised a set amount of time.  I personally feel … Continue reading One Less Moment

Sometimes the dancing flame shows us what we don’t want to see. There is just enough light to illuminate what is right in front of us: shifting shadows and false security. Sitting in the candlelight  Watching how it glows bright How the wind blows right And shifts the way it throws light Showing how you … Continue reading Candlelight

I did it.  I said my mind and finally stood up for myself.  … I can breathe again.  Did anything change? I think so.  I’ve noticed a shift. Little things. I’m not so tense. The air is not so thick and heavy.  I can say what I want to say and I don’t worry about … Continue reading I Did It…