Thinking Out Loud (to Myself)

as I sit here contemplating my existence, I wonder if it is really real at all

I feel like surely this is a dream or at least a nightmare to be called

I’m disconnected from my body; my head has long since left

A hollow feeling within fills this emptiness in my chest

My hands do their work somehow on their own

My legs get me places tho I’d rather stay at home

I go through motions daily and act the normal part

As far as I know no one has noticed my lack of heart

I don’t know who I am anymore; I’ve forgotten how to look

I don’t know where I lost myself; which wrong turn I took

I try to think back on my past to remember a happy time

But somewhere along the way, it seems I lost my mind.

It’s the same story every day and every single night

The same old routine repeating the same tired lines

If I hurt myself hard enough do you think I really could

Wake myself up from all this and life would be all good?

I’m tired of feeling empty, tired of the disconnect

I’m ready to be finished, bring on what comes next…

2 thoughts on “Thinking Out Loud (to Myself)

  1. I love your pieces like this. They have a dark, melancholy quality to them, but at the same time very comforting. It’s a harrowing thought when you lie down at night and realize you’re on autopilot and no one even noticed.


  2. Or when you realize that you’ve been on autopilot and don’t know how long you’ve just been going through the motions? I think sometimes we become so good at existing that we forget about living too. I know I spent years feeling lost and to this day still catch myself slipping away again. And too I wonder how many of us think we’ve gotten away with this while someone else is secretly wanting to talk with us because they have kindred spirit vibes.
    Thank you for reading and posting your encouraging comments! I love the thought provoking feedback and I do hope to offer some sort comfort. 🙂


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