It’s my own fault. I do this to myself.  I get mad at the world for not meeting expectations, but, I don’t let the world know what is expected.  It is easier for me to hold myself responsible than to try to make you understand what you should instinctively know.  That I do not understand.  … Continue reading Warning

I want to know why.  Why do I hate myself for hurting because of something you’ve done? Why is it that when you do something you know hurts me, I am the one to blame? Why is it so easy for me to apologize for being so weak (sensitive)? Why is my knee jerk reaction … Continue reading Why?

I just walked by a coworker’s desk and saw a stick pin laying discarded… This isn’t a cry for attention or help really. This is me admitting my struggle with addiction and recognizing how far I’ve come.  It was the perfect pin. Looked clean and shiny. Good size. Sharp. Everything I’d want in a pin.  … Continue reading Getting Better

Emptiness. Desolate.  Hollow.  Sometimes I feel like my chest is a gaping pit; like people can look at me and see this hole where my heart should be.  I know my heart is still there and still beating because I feel it every time it pumps, it seems. It’s like it’s tired of pretending to … Continue reading Hollow

The first covenant was made under the law. There were rules to follow, the Ten Commandments part of those laws. Ordinances were set forth for the children of Abraham that they must obey to obtain their promised glory.  The Law and birthright determined the fate of a person.  But what purpose is there in fulfillment … Continue reading Law and Faith

I'm all about perspectives. I think there are so many truths that are dependent on the point of view.  If nothing else is gained from your reading of my thoughts, I hope you take away the knowledge that not everyone sees the same way you do and not everyone processes how you do. No ONE … Continue reading Refresh

Merriam-Webster defines anchor in several ways, both as a noun and a verb. As a noun, it is used to hold a ship in a place, or to hold something firmly. An anchor is a support. In some team sports, the anchor is the team member who competes last as in a relay race. Even … Continue reading Anchors

I saw something the other day that said you can't move forward if you are holding on to the past...wow. Holding on to the past is like dropping anchor. You're rooted in place. You might get buffeted by the waves but the only thing you are doing is stirring up the muck from the deep … Continue reading Move Forward

It comes in many forms. Sometimes it hurts so bad, we can only cry out, hoping for relief. Often it feels suffocating and like we are trapped with no hope escape. Of course there is the physicality...sharp, dull, radicular, stabbing, aching, burning, numbing… we mask those pains. We can take something, put something on them, … Continue reading Pain