I was busy minding my own business and just got hit with the heaviest feeling of guilt.  From something I did over 20 years ago.  I’m talking about heart heavy... Can’t catch my breath... Stomach churning... WTF was I thinking… Paralyzing guilt.  Body shaking...  Wish the ground would swallow me whole... Don’t want to be … Continue reading Guilt

I cannot count the times I have sat down and typed out a long message in great detail.  Agonizing over word choice and punctuation.  Trying to capture the complete picture.  I want you to be able to see, hear, feel, taste and smell everything as it is.  I want you to feel my anger coursing … Continue reading Select All

The other day I was thinking about how I feel cheated.  I was listening to the conversations around me.  Listening to them laugh and act the fool; thinking how nice it must be to not have a care in the world.  Thinking how they all seem to have it all together.  How they are in … Continue reading Sigh…

It’s a struggle to fill the emptiness inside. Why can’t I ever just be satisfied?  Why do I put myself in places, then I fight to leave? I want more.  I want better.  I’m never happy.  I’m never thankful.  I sit here yelling.  I stand there pacing.  Always thinking.  Always complaining.  Never at peace.  Always … Continue reading Never Satisfied

Tone of voice is detrimental in delivery.  It can make or break relationships.  Tone can turn a statement into a question and a question to a command.  A simple phrase muttered under the breath is taken much differently than the same said outright.  A condescending tone belittles the hearer and uplifts the speaker.  Conversations turn … Continue reading Tone of Voice

Every day I go to work, I think to myself that I will not let anyone else’s actions have an effect on me and how I feel.  I usually go in to work with a decent attitude but when I open that first email, I start losing the battle.  All it takes is for one … Continue reading By Example

I have a close friend, but I keep her at arm’s length—for my safety.  Friends are meant to help you through life.  This friend, whom I love dearly, tries her best to hurt me any chance she gets.  It seems she tries her best to shock me, yet I take it all in unfazed. Or … Continue reading Battles

I constantly check my watch.  I don’t know why. I guess it’s just a habit as I rarely notice the time. I even glance at my wrist when my watch isn’t there. And I know it’s gone, but still I look.  I check the clock on the wall, but never see it...I moved it long … Continue reading Obsessed with Time

It hurts being the last resort. Especially when you should be a certain someone’s first choice...but still that person would rather spend precious time with anyone else.  It hurts.  It’s that dull ache that won’t let your tears fall; that gasp that’s stuck in your throat.  It’s that white hot anger that makes you yell … Continue reading Last Resort

Why do we choose to hurt ourselves when someone else triggers us? A look into possibilities of why we self harm. Sometimes I think it is because I feel things so deeply yet fail at expressing myself. You may shake your head in disbelief, but it's true: the written word may flow from my fingertips … Continue reading Choose