I was busy minding my own business and just got hit with the heaviest feeling of guilt.
From something I did over 20 years ago.
I’m talking about heart heavy…
Can’t catch my breath…
Stomach churning…
WTF was I thinking…
Paralyzing guilt.
Body shaking…
Wish the ground would swallow me whole…
Don’t want to be here…
Guilt on display…
Neon signs flashing…
Arrows pointing at me…
The dumbest decision ever.
Losing a good friend.
Losing self respect.
All for a few minutes of I don’t know what.
I’m sorry, so very sorry.
I never meant to hurt you.
I don’t know why I did what I did.
But I do know that that is one mistake I never intend to repeat.
OneFourZeroPM 
How do you forgive yourself? How do you free yourself of guilt?
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Why are you holding on to it? What purpose is your guilt serving? And why can’t you forgive yourself? If you think about it, any other person and you’d be quick to forgive, especially when you take into consideration all the extenuating circumstances…so when you know everything inside and out, why can’t you let it go?
In this instance I wrote about, I was a teenager and completely lost in a moment. It was years later before I realized what could have been perceived and that is when I felt horrible. But I’ve let it go because holding on to it does me no good. And if I am a child of GOD, then my holding on to my sins takes away the grace HE bestowed on me. That is what caused me to let it go. It’s not acknowledging HIS mercy.
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