Shallow rapid breaths Avoiding the stench in the air Can’t extend my chest The room just isn’t there. Constricting cords wound tight Seem to strengthen as I fight Seem to strengthen every time I move my arm to wipe my eye. Covered in a cool sweat Tattooed tear stains- I’m a mess. Locked in place, … Continue reading I’m a Mess
Author: oliviaallen
Tremors
Flashback, shallow rapid breaths Sweaty palms, bare fluorescent bulbs overhead. Shadows, cold, unfamiliar faces Whispering an unlearned, foreign language. Chanting short, rhythmic sounds From every direction, my eyes dart around. Searching, terrified am I Gone is the one; he’s gone from my side. Thump, thump, pounding in my chest, Surely everyone can see me in … Continue reading Tremors
The Lies We Tell Ourselves
The lies we tell ourselves are too many to even try to attempt to list. I’m not even going to try. Instead, I want to take a moment and give you time to think how many times and how many ways you lie to yourself. How much are you your own worst enemy?
Spinning
Trying so hard to be what we’re expected to be, often we lose ourselves. i wish you could tell me just who i am i wish you could tell me so i'd understand i try and try to be all that i can now i'm lost, i throw up my hands i've twisted and turned; … Continue reading Spinning
Religion
The other day, a friend of mine told me that religion had messed her up. And while that may shock some people, I couldn’t agree more. It is the religion of the self-righteous. The ones who believe in prayer alone and the ones who “live according to the Ten Commandments” and therefore are “sinless”. Don’t … Continue reading Religion
Hey!!
I need you to know something. I need you to listen and believe me this one time. You. Are. Whole. You may feel broken, battered and bruised; it’s okay to feel like that as long as you know that you are not broken. You have everything you need to make it on your own. You … Continue reading Hey!!
Tenebris
Dark thoughts. Do you know what it's like to cry yourself to sleep? And for no other reason than just because you are you? Or to feel alone when you’re surrounded by people? To feel like you are outside looking in and will never be able to join the crowd because, quite frankly, there are … Continue reading Tenebris
Eyes…Always Watching
Hunted… Stalked… Judged… Eyes tracking my every step, judging my pace, measuring my breathing, reading my thoughts. Imperceptible movement from the stalker...really just the eyes following me as I passed. Hoping I tripped, maybe? Contemplating how silly I must be walking toward no real destination, having no goal, or plan? I could read her thoughts, … Continue reading Eyes…Always Watching
Independence
Once upon a time, there was a little girl who got her heart shattered by the person she trusted most. Her best friend. The one person in the world who she should have been able to count on for anything and everything. Her dad. He transitioned from being her best friend to the person she … Continue reading Independence
Flaws and Faults
I am not perfect. Believe me, I know my flaws and faults. I am working on them. I have many, so it will take some time, but all good things come in time. My faults are so varied, but among the top on my list to improve is my bitterness. It’s not something I can … Continue reading Flaws and Faults