I feel like I'm spiraling out of control. My mind can't stay focusedit's on overload.stimuli coming from every directionlittle noises and voicesdemand my attentionMy neck is pulsing and feeling tightconstricting and restrictingI'm not alrightI just want to feel alive again,going through motionsforeign in my skinMy thoughts are disconnected from mechasm between my mind and bodyI … Continue reading Empty

Just Be Held...gosh the opening lyrics speak so loudly to me right now. I had literally just sat down and opened a new document to write. Plugged in my earbuds and the first words hit hard. Not what I had in mind to write about either... but signs... "Hold it all togetherEverybody needs you strongBut … Continue reading Just Be…

Do you ever feel like everything you do is wrong? It doesn’t matter how hard you try or how much you do, it’s never good? I just feel like everything I touch turns to rust... I feel like everything I try to do falls flat. I’m feeling like a failure right now. And I really … Continue reading Pausing, Not Stopping

The last time I saw him, he recognized me. His face lit up, eyes cleared, said my name with such excitement and struggled to hug me... And quickly fell back asleep. He’d been sleeping much of the time lately, as is what often happens. And I had planned on seeing him this morning... But GOD … Continue reading The Last Time

It's not a thump,it's more like a poundingmy chest starts to bumpin my ears, resounding.I look down to vieweach time my heart beatshow my shirt movesso obvious to me.and the bass in my earseven as loud as it iscannot drown out what i hearnearly brings me to tears.Eyes burn red hot,close them to hide from … Continue reading When Troubles Crowd

Stress does not cause ulcers... NSAIDs do. Stress causes headaches Which leads to NSAID use... Which leads to ulcers. But ulcers are not caused by stress. Which is very comforting since I am under a ton of stress... I’m just suffering through the headaches... Not wanting to add the NSAIDs To the acid already building … Continue reading Ulcers

I’m a creature of habit. I’ve written plenty that states as much. But lately I’ve made some major changes.... And my habits have had to change... It is so difficult for me to be in a new place. I’ve had to survey the room, And determine who I need to put my defenses up when … Continue reading New Places

The stinging in my eyesTells me I’m not alright. The pressure behind the lids,I know how this ends. I try to change my mind Leave the sadness behind. Thoughts go from this one to another It’s too much on my shoulders. Secrets I’ve sworn to keepAre ripping me at the seams. I just want to … Continue reading Pressure

I picked up a book the other day that I had wanted to read. I carried it around the store for a good while before deciding to put it back down. I really wanted to read the book, but something told me to wait and look into it a little more before making the commitment … Continue reading Perfectly Imperfect