New Places

I’m a creature of habit.

I’ve written plenty that states as much.

But lately I’ve made some major changes….

And my habits have had to change…

It is so difficult for me to be in a new place.

I’ve had to survey the room,

And determine who I need to put my defenses up when I’m near to protect my empathetic self.

There are quite a few people who are emotional vampires wanting to suck the life out of me.

I hate being so cold to some and chatty with others, but it’s to protect myself.

I’m not a friendly person. As a matter of fact, I have very few friends. (That number seems to be dropping. ) There are very few people I trust. Yes, I seem open, but really not very many people know me. Most only know parts of me.

And aren’t we all like that?

Don’t we all pick and choose what we show the world?

Don’t we all keep a little tucked away safe inside?

But these new places and new faces have created a small problem for me…

I miss my conversations with some choice people.

I miss the stimulating back and forth about things great and small.

I haven’t found that here. It doesn’t help that I keep to myself, but how do you go about talking with strangers about NDE or something similar? Is that just a topic you can drop?

I honestly couldn’t care less about the weather. Unless you want to tell me how that one rain drop has touched millions of people and traveled around the world and oh at the stories contained in that drop, if not, then please keep it to yourself.

I know I’m cruel and heartless, but I crave discussion that leaves me hungry for more.

I want to share ideas and get lost in the moment… where time doesn’t matter and hours fly by as seconds…

I am not good with new places.

But still I struggle on…