Let me tell you something about people: they only hear what they either want to hear or are afraid to hear. They don’t hear what’s said. It doesn’t matter how many times you reiterate what you mean or how many ways you try to convey your point, they only hear what they think you say.
That’s one reason words are so powerful. One word misconstrued changes the meaning completely.
And all it takes is one little word heard wrong and the seed of doubt is planted. All the words that follow, none make a difference in how that one word was taken. If anything, all those other words are fuel. And you know how weeds choke out the flowers…the same happens with words.
One word taken out of context can ruin relationships, opportunities, everything.
GOD knows all.
And that is what is important.
When someone takes your words and changes your meaning for their own purpose, that isn’t on you; that’s on that person.
Yes, it is painful to lose friends and family or chances because of a misunderstanding, but in the end, count your blessings because anyone who won’t make the effort to try to understand isn’t worth worrying over.
Those people are selfish and self serving. They make trouble for themselves and are always the victim.
I have reached the point where if you need me to be your villain so you can feel better about yourself, then so be it.
GOD knows my heart, and I am comfortable with that.
6 thoughts on “What People Hear”
I am working on being to this point. I give myself this speech everyday but I still have my moments. I’m in agreement with this post but my main question when it comes to situations like this Why? Why do it?
Why do what? Why do people only hear what they want to hear? Because their perspective is different from yours. Take this blog for example, it is written from my point of view but you read it from yours. I know my mind when I’m writing but I don’t know what’s on your mind while you read it. You can take my words a different way without meaning any harm. You apply them to your situation and see if it meshes or not. I think I can say for both of us, neither has any malice in us towards the other.
Why try to make our point be known? For validation. We all seek approval whether we admit it or not. Humans are shallow creatures after all. We want to be heard and understood. That’s not wrong.
Don’t beat yourself up over a misunderstanding. Not everyone is on your level and not everyone has your good heart. Not everyone has empathy or can even try to care about anyone else.
Just be your genuine self; the right people see you and hear you, the real you.
For me this is a hard concept to absorb. I tend to choose my words carefully and think on what I will say, and when someone comes to me and says I offended them, I let them talk then apologize for hurting their feelings. But I meant what I said. So when people just talk then come back and say, “Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that, you misunderstood,” honestly, I find it hard to believe that they didn’t. I always feel like they did mean it, they just don’t want to be confrontational.
I understand what you are saying. I like to think about my words before speaking or writing; sometimes I think I should phrase things differently. I know for a fact that I’ve hurt some feelings by things I’ve written here, but that is honestly not my intention. I did not intend my words to have the meaning some have taken. I think that comes from something within themselves though and not really my words. In my experience, if something offends it is because it hits a nerve or sensitive spot on the soul.
I do mean what I say, but how it is received isn’t always how I meant it.
Sometimes words are taken out of context. And I have a constant rolling dialogue going on in my mind that no one else is privy so sometimes when I say something it goes along with my internal thoughts and makes sense but isn’t clear without the background noise.
Does that make sense?
I think I see. So you could say to me, “That was a dumb idea” and in your mind be thinking “Variable a b and c are why the idea could be better” but because I the receiver am self conscious about not being that smart, I say to myself “She’s saying I’m dumb.” When that’s not what you are saying. Hopefully I understand. You have the full conversations in your head too? I thought I was the only one who did that.
Yes, that’s a wonderful example. I’m analytical and simple yes/no is nearly impossible for me because there is always a possibility of x, y, or z altering whatever.
And no, you are not alone. I always have multiple conversations going on in my head at any given moment. I think that’s why sometimes I feel like I don’t make sense…I’m not sure if I’m answering someone else or myself.