It’s a Choice

Yesterday was a struggle.

I just wanted to curl up and cry…so instead, I decided to find something else on which to focus.

I made myself do my dreaded tasks at work. You know the ones you put off until you just have to do them…well, I did them before it was a must.

February 27th is always difficult for me.

So much I still remember and so much I wish I could forget.

The sounds, the smells, the sights and feelings…the heartbreak and heartache…the emptiness that can’t be filled…

So today, I decided to again be busy.

Yes, I could have wallowed in my depressed state, mourning what happened. It would have been very easy.

And ‘rest’ for today was encouraged.

I just couldn’t do it today.

I worked hard, never once stopping for a break.

Now, mind you, I can barely move because I hurt all over, but I feel much better than I would had I got that prescribed rest today.

I pushed myself to do what I didn’t want to do so I would not dwell on my sorrow.

I turned my sorrow into something useful and brightened up the day.

February 27th is a day I will never forget. I will allow myself to feel the feeling but I won’t allow the feeling to dictate my actions.

I can remember the love and channel that feeling into something good.

Sometimes it helps me to remember I have a choice about how something affects me.

We all do.