Confrontation

As a rule, I avoid confrontation at all costs.

Maybe I should clarify.

I avoid verbal confrontation. I do not like raised voices or harsh words. I have been verbally abused and emotionally manipulated for most of my life. I am extremely sensitive and feel pretty broken. I have recently realized how much damage and abuse I’ve sustained and I am now working on me. 

Enough of that. 

Back to confrontation. 

I am the type of person who will literally run towards a physical altercation to break it up. As a young teen, I would often insert myself between my dad and my brother. I would rather be beaten instead of letting my brother get hurt. 

I will always rush in to help and put myself in a dangerous situation to prevent another from getting hurt if possible. 

On the flip side, during a verbal attack, I freeze. I am rendered defenseless. I cannot speak or move or do anything of use to prevent the emotional damage that is occurring. 

I am a failure in this regard. 

It doesn’t matter who says what to whom. I cannot get in between the parties involved. I cannot interject myself to do any good. I become just as guilty as the person berating the other because of my silence. 

This kills me.

GOD, please help me to not be so weak. I need YOUR strength and guidance. Please help me to be strong enough, to be an example, and to correct my failings.

3 thoughts on “Confrontation

  1. I can deal with verbal and physical confrontation except when it come to my own person life, such as with a spouse. I too freeze and this is why I’ve been so abused in this part of my life so now I have no interest in pursuing that part of life. I just don’t want to be bitter but I feel that I already am because I don’t know how to be more comfortable express how I truly feel in that type of relationship.

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    1. I have a hard time expressing any feeling, so I do relate to your comment. I, too, am bitter. Bitterness has deep roots, so to get rid of it, you have to kill the root. You need to find where the root has its hold and start there. GOD will help you.

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