Contradictions

We are so quick to judge and slow to forgive. We are quick to point fingers but cannot see our own faults. We forget that another cannot know or hear our thoughts and therefore can take our words and twist them to mean something else. We forget that others have different perspectives and different points of view that can change meanings of things that resonate with us. We don’t take into account that reading a line or hearing a song can have a hundred different meanings for a hundred different people. We forget that everyone has chapters they don’t read out loud. Everyone has a secret world that affects them in ways we cannot know. Even knowing all this, I still assume one thing when often it is something else. And, too, I fall victim to my own imaginations and believe something I’ve made up built on my insecurities. A simple misunderstanding can cause me to cut ties without a second thought. It is all in my head. I am defensive and short fused. Done. Another lesson learned. A misunderstanding leaving the other person wondering what just happened. Guess what; I have my own world in my head. My own place with my own voices telling me truths and lies. I’ll keep listening to my voices and making mistakes and making good choices. I’ll continue to push people away to keep from getting hurt and that way I won’t have to forgive and forget. My bitterness will bring me down but that’s okay with me. I’m fine with being alone; my thoughts keep me company and my imagination fill in all the gaps that there could possibly be. To my one or two real friends out there, you are the real heroes for putting up with me and all my conflicting personalities. Thank you for understanding. I love you more than you know.