A coworker of mine recently made a comment about the irony of life…and it made me think of an email I never sent.
I had a friend accuse me of having so many contradictions. In the unsent message, I explained how I do not contradict myself though it seems I do.
Even as Yoda says there are many truths only seen from a certain point of view. Everything about me seems like a lie, but I abhor lies. It’s one thing I do not tolerate in the least. Don’t lie to me; don’t accuse me of lying. All I ask…
I digress and I’m sorry.
Life has a way of knocking us down just when we regain our footing. Every time I seem to get better, I start slipping again.
I’ve stated many times that I am not a fan of rules, but so much of my life revolves around guidelines and ordinances.
“It’s complicated” is a phrase that can adequately describe my life and how I feel.
I’ve done everything I was told I couldn’t do and I am everything I never thought I’d be.
It’s like being called the wrong name, but not just any wrong name…no, it’s being called by the name of the one person you cannot stand.
Yep, that’s my life.
If I have an aversion to it, it’ll come to pass.
And while I’m on the topic of aversion, I think we attract what we think.
When we are heavy laden, that’s what we see around us. When we are elated, nothing brings us down. We attract things by our focus.
I am guilty.
I am overwhelmed emotionally and mentally and that’s what I see everywhere.
My job is to look for potential problems…it’s made me hyper aware of discrepancies. And try as I might to compartmentalize, it’s not easy to do. I see problems everywhere.
I don’t go out of my way to talk to people because I don’t want to bring their problems to the surface. I think I bring people down with my comments and point of view.
I’m not a negative person, but I know I come across that way.
It’s ironic that I once was friendly and jovial; now I thrive on sarcasm and have a cold exterior.
Being overly sensitive caused me to shut off my emotions and lose my compassion. I still feel things so very deeply, I just don’t let it show.
The ironies in life…maybe they are meant to teach us the lessons we don’t want to know. Or to be an example for others.