Do you ever sit there and trace a line you’ve drawn?
Try to conjure up a feeling you have known?
Maybe think about the past and want to repeat,
Shudder at the thought, but fear it’s meant to be.
I don’t understand the pull, the attraction;
Why sometimes I feel I am called to action;
To plunge into the darkness again,
And rip away at my flesh and skin.
It’s like the drunk who can’t stop the drink;
The junkie who pushes herself to the brink;
Clean up and function for a while
Hide your darkness behind your smile.
And only to slip and fall farther than before
To sink down where light shines no more.
Did you slip, or did you throw yourself?
Snuff out the light so there’s nothing left.
I wonder sometimes if I am meant to be,
One with the darkness, doomed eternally.
It feels natural and like a comforting friend
Like maybe dark is what I truly am.
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Published by oliviaallen
Just a girl with too many thoughts in her head. Feel free to like, comment and share!
Email me: onefourzeropm@gmail.com
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OneFourZeroPM 
For me, it’s not that I am “called to darkness” it’s just that the darkness is so much easier than fighting to say in and keep the light. True happiness takes work. It is not effortless. The devil is always on attack and his way is so much more easier to follow. Negative feelings and actions are part of our flesh and we are born with it. God’s way (the light) requires faith, work, and persistence.
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That’s an interesting point of view…I feel drawn to darkness like that is where I belong. Not that it’s easier, but I guess that it’s familiar. It is like a bad friend that I need to leave in the past. Friendships take work too, but maybe I need to spend less time with this one.
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That definitely is different POV and you DEFINATELY need to spend less time with this one. Friendship aren’t friendships if both people aren’t working on it other. It’s unrequited if it’s just you putting in the work and that would lead me to darkness.
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I think sometimes I put more effort into those friendships that are negative…maybe I want to shine a little light, but maybe I end up dimming my light…because the darkness is so inviting.
I’m going to have to think on this for a bit, Elana.
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