I am insanity personified. Every day I wake and go through my usual routine. And maybe therein lies the problem. I expect things to go different yet I do the exact same thing day in and day out.
But, even if I change what I do, everyone else would have to change what they do, how they react and act, to bring about a real change.
I can only change me and maybe I am enough for once. What if I change my routine? What if I change my responses? What if my reactions are not what is expected? What would happen if instead of seeing all the negativity I chose to see the positive side? Change of perspective…instead of always feeling inadequate, always having to prove myself, prove TO myself that I can do anything and have the confidence and faith to change the little things to effect change in the big things. Baby steps. Persistence. Over time that one drop of water repeatedly beating down on the rock will break the rock’s resistance and reshape the rock. It isn’t by strength, but by perseverance, the relentless nature of the water that the sharp edges of the rock are smoothed.
Maybe I can dull the sharp edges, maybe I can thwart their consequences…
OneFourZeroPM 
Oliva, I woke up today and was led to your site. I get like this often but sadly I do not listen to that feeling. 2022 is a new year so I am trying to listen to my inner “Holy Spirit” when it talks. I checked to see if there was something new, clicked on a few old posts from 2021 but that feeling was still there, and very unsatisfied. When I clicked on 2019 and saw this post my body instantly felt at ease.
The title so perfectly describes a huge part of my current inner struggle. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. So why would things be any different from 2021, 2020, 2019, and so forth if I do not change the way I do things and stick to that change? It’s so easy to sit and pray and ask God to do this or do that, but if you aren’t doing your part then God isn’t the one to blame.
As always….Thank you for this site.
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Thank you, Elana, for continuing to read and respond.
It’s like the post PCT, if we don’t make changes, why should we expect anything to change.
“GOD moves in mysterious ways”
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