All Over the Place

So, I’ve been doing a good bit of soul-searching lately. And I’m quite confused. Part of me is like “Oh, okay, that’s gotta be it…” and another part is saying “But wait, what about this…?”

Do you ever feel like you take one step forward and five steps back? It’s like the harder you try to make sense of anything, you fall more and more behind and confused. There are so many places and people offering advice and answers, so who and what do you believe? I don’t know. I’m just as lost as I feel, but I’m still keeping on.

Perhaps I should give up on trying to better myself by myself and ask for some professional help.

But you know I’m probably not going to do that.

I was listening to a talk about cycles and I believe what the speaker was saying. It was about going through periods of creativity and anger, etc. and cycling through everything in a pattern unique to you.

I haven’t felt creative lately. I’ve been introspective.

I want to know what’s wrong with me and how I can fix it.

I want to know why I have flashes of anger for no reason.

And why sometimes I just feel like crying…

Don’t get me wrong, I really don’t think there’s anything ‘wrong’ with me. I just feel like I need to understand why I react the way I do and why it seems inappropriate at times. I don’t feel like it is, but am I objective at evaluating my actions?

I’ve learned a few things and have much more to learn…

So for now, I’m just going to breathe through my feelings and see what happens next.

And I’m going to try to focus and not be so ‘all over the place’.

One thought on “All Over the Place

  1. I have felt unsettled lately. I feel like there is so much going, so much I need to do but I am stuck in a rut. Midlife crisis? General state of unrest in the world as a whole? Our world has changed a lot in the last couple of years.


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