I had someone ask me my thoughts on ‘following’ something… We focus on “followers”, how many we have, how many likes and shares… But it’s a scary place… Am I following the right things? I know the argument is that following someone on social isn’t the same as following them down a path… But is … Continue reading Followers
Tag: #struggle
Tomorrow
Once upon a time… I once was quick to anger and slow to forgive. I’m still quick to anger. Believe me, my anger is fierce and fast. I hate it. I can be so chill, so mellow and snap before the hat drops. It scares me sometimes just how much rage I feel for no … Continue reading Tomorrow
Marriage
Back in my day, I felt like our goal was to find someone to build a life together. You know? It wasn’t about having everything together and then merging lives; I wanted someone who would walk beside me and together we would make our lives one. I didn’t want to move into “his” house. I … Continue reading Marriage
If…then
It’s what makes life fly by so fast: the hurry up and wait: the ‘if-then’… If I can make it through Saturday, then… … When I found out I was expecting my fourth child, putting it mildly, I had many thoughts…timing was crazy, in the middle of losing both my parents and just everything seeming … Continue reading If…then
Demons
I’ve always struggled with depression. I don’t think that will ever change. It feels just like any addiction, no matter what, the outcome is the same. But lately I’ve been thinking. And I’ve found a new point of view. It helps that I’ve been reading my Bible day and night, through and through. It says … Continue reading Demons
Your Villain
I’ll be your villain I’m good for that, it seems. If there’s something wrong with you,Just take it out on me. No worries, my friend. I’m here for you, you see?I can be the bad guy,If that’s what you need. It’s a role I haveFor many different people They just make something up For many different reasons. Maybe it’s justified Maybe I deserve the … Continue reading Your Villain
You Got This
Sometimes you gotta talk your own self off the ledge. I’m gonna sit there with you and I’ll sit there in the dark with you while you’re sitting on the edge, but I can’t talk you down. You can’t count on me like that. I’m right here with you for you. Anytime you need anything, … Continue reading You Got This
A Request
Why do I do this?To myself?Put my heart out there?On a shelf?Just bleed it out?On the page?Bare my mind and soulCenter stage?Everything is nothing.It’s all naught. I’m a shell of a human,An afterthought. See the lines I cut?On my skin?See the lines of pain,Show again?The burn, the shame,Agony?No man, this isn’t that,No pity. I did this for you,By … Continue reading A Request
Exhale
I exhale slowly,Focusing on the task,Of taking in air,Hold it, then relax. The exhale gets me,Sometimes i forgetTo just let it goSo I can reset. I’m lying to you. The exhale isn’t slow,By violence is forced;I have no control. A fist to the gut,A vacuumed sealed room:The exhale ripped,An impending doom. I can’t do this,I continue to say,As I exhale … Continue reading Exhale
Why, Man
You know I’m hurting. I told you I was on the edge.What? You say “I’m sorry”,And leave me on the ledge. What the hell, man,I thought you were hereBut now I see, they’re wordsEmpty sounds for me to hear. I’m in pain, man,I feel like I’m dying. I wish I was dead, man,What? You think I’m lying?You haven’t checked … Continue reading Why, Man
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