It’s what makes life fly by so fast: the hurry up and wait: the ‘if-then’… If I can make it through Saturday, then… … When I found out I was expecting my fourth child, putting it mildly, I had many thoughts…timing was crazy, in the middle of losing both my parents and just everything seeming … Continue reading If…then
Tag: #struggle
Demons
I’ve always struggled with depression. I don’t think that will ever change. It feels just like any addiction, no matter what, the outcome is the same. But lately I’ve been thinking. And I’ve found a new point of view. It helps that I’ve been reading my Bible day and night, through and through. It says … Continue reading Demons
Your Villain
I’ll be your villain I’m good for that, it seems. If there’s something wrong with you,Just take it out on me. No worries, my friend. I’m here for you, you see?I can be the bad guy,If that’s what you need. It’s a role I haveFor many different people They just make something up For many different reasons. Maybe it’s justified Maybe I deserve the … Continue reading Your Villain
You Got This
Sometimes you gotta talk your own self off the ledge. I’m gonna sit there with you and I’ll sit there in the dark with you while you’re sitting on the edge, but I can’t talk you down. You can’t count on me like that. I’m right here with you for you. Anytime you need anything, … Continue reading You Got This
A Request
Why do I do this?To myself?Put my heart out there?On a shelf?Just bleed it out?On the page?Bare my mind and soulCenter stage?Everything is nothing.It’s all naught. I’m a shell of a human,An afterthought. See the lines I cut?On my skin?See the lines of pain,Show again?The burn, the shame,Agony?No man, this isn’t that,No pity. I did this for you,By … Continue reading A Request
Exhale
I exhale slowly,Focusing on the task,Of taking in air,Hold it, then relax. The exhale gets me,Sometimes i forgetTo just let it goSo I can reset. I’m lying to you. The exhale isn’t slow,By violence is forced;I have no control. A fist to the gut,A vacuumed sealed room:The exhale ripped,An impending doom. I can’t do this,I continue to say,As I exhale … Continue reading Exhale
Why, Man
You know I’m hurting. I told you I was on the edge.What? You say “I’m sorry”,And leave me on the ledge. What the hell, man,I thought you were hereBut now I see, they’re wordsEmpty sounds for me to hear. I’m in pain, man,I feel like I’m dying. I wish I was dead, man,What? You think I’m lying?You haven’t checked … Continue reading Why, Man
Inside
I used to think I was dead inside But I know I have a fire inside Fueled by an endless supply inside Of dreams and hopes and desires inside Things that come alive inside Awake all my senses inside Keeping me aware, not hiding inside Not dimming my flame or life inside Shining through, smiling … Continue reading Inside
Knowing
“And he healed many that were sick of divers diseases, and cast out many devils; and suffered not the devils to speak, because they knew him.” Mark 1:34 KJV Anyone can quote scripture. The devil knows the Bible better than most…this is what I find amazing. How many people saw the Son of God and … Continue reading Knowing
Mastermind
Watch me as I orchestrate,A universe of strife and hate. I pull the strings and let them go.Move the pieces along just so,Bending them against their willPushing them further still.I’m subtle in my determination;No inkling my goal is devastation.My puppets are bound by stringsThat to the eye remain unseen.They are completely unaware-They are trapped in my … Continue reading Mastermind
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