Late Night

I read somewhere that people shouldn’t talk about their healing process. That recovery should be done quietly. 

I guess I understand on some levels where that would be beneficial. You don’t discuss your plans, you just do them. When you want to get ahead at work, you do it, you don’t tell everyone what you’re doing. 

But it was talking about how when you’re going through recovery, you will slip and make mistakes. You’re going to have bad days where you struggle through them. And it said because of this, people will make fun of you. They will criticize your work. 

Yeah, people will do that. People are mean and hateful. They laugh when you fall. They throw the proverbial sticks and stones, taunts and hurtful words. Yes, they hurt. And yes, they can cause you to slip even more. I’m not ever one to belittle the effects of words on anyone. Words have power. 

But there are so many more people who are struggling just like you. Struggling with addictions, depression, anxiety, diseases, and struggling with life in general. 

Those people need to know they are not alone in the struggle. They are not alone in slipping and sliding through the pain of transition. Growth is painful and possible, with hard work and determination. 

If all you ever saw was the beginning of recovery and the successful outcome, you would get discouraged. Because recovering is a process, a long process. 

And if you are walking the straight and narrow way, even then, you will have times where you trip on air. Your feet fumble beneath you. You might step one foot off the path for a second when you trip, but keep your other foot planted in the path. 

Sometimes you find a rock in the way, and you find it when you feel the bruise; then you hobble along but still move forward. Maybe a little slower than before. 

I’ve made progress since I’ve started this journey. 

I’m still recovering. 

I’ll always be recovering. 

Because no matter how far I get, I know how easy it is to fall. I know how easy it is to give in to the depression that is ever present. I know how easy it is to revert to the old ways that have been with me for so long. 

All it takes is a little word carelessly thrown my way and I’m knocked back several steps. 

And it seems that making up those lost steps takes so much more effort, so much more work. It is painful to have to pull myself up and retrace where I’ve already been. That alone is enough to discourage progress. 

But, I keep pulling myself up and putting one foot in front of the other. 

This journey to peace is full of trials and tribulation. We need each other to encourage each other. 

Again, it is the power of a word that can motivate us to keep growing. A little reminder that we are not alone in the struggle. We are all struggling with something. 

Words have power to build up or condemn. And actions with words are so powerful. 

A little note to say “hi”, a little comment to say “I thought of you today.” These little acts mean so much to someone who is struggling, grasping for some meaning in life. 

My head had just hit the pillow when these thoughts raced through my mind. I am so grateful for the people who encourage me. They don’t know they just gave me that little boost I needed to take one more step.