Do you ever want to type a message to someone but you sit there and stare at the blinking cursor, not knowing what to say? Like you have something on your mind, but you can’t get it to meet your fingers or you can’t even form the words? You just sit there and stare, willing the cursor to move; willing the words to just appear because your mind is racing and blank at the same time?
Or is that just me?
It’s like I have so much I want to say or need to say that just won’t come up and out. Like it is fighting beneath the surface wanting recognition. It’s trapped within my mind and heart. This war inside rages and ugh!
Not that you want to tell someone off, or that you want to say something in particular to a certain person, but you just need to get something out of you and you think that maybe this person will understand if you just say “hey, i just need you to listen to me breathe for a minute so I can get through this madness. Can you just listen to what I’m not saying and be okay with that? Can you hear my thoughts for a moment because I’m drowning and spiraling out of control?”
Or is that just me?
Sometimes I feel like everything I keep inside is struggling to get out and it is physically tearing me apart. And I think of Joseph in Egypt when his brothers sold him into slavery. I think of David hiding in the caves avoiding Saul. I think of Paul in the prisons, wrongly accused and so misunderstood. I think of the man possessed by Legions and how he must have felt so alone and scared to be controlled by the devil. And I feel so weak and helpless so many times. I am not as strong as they. I need encouragement on a daily basis to keep going.
Sometimes even my thoughts consume me and for all my knowledge and understanding, I have to fight the depression and the pressures of life. And I need daily help.
Without the grace and mercy of my Lord and Master, the Creator of the universe, I would not be able to face my daily life. I thank my God for His kindness and protection. I know these trials are for my good though I do not often understand. God knows best and I trust in Him.
OneFourZeroPM 